So: last night, while I was busy doing my thing in the bathroom, two guys got in a fight. This was a bar fight, mind you, which means two things: alcohol was involved, and so was a glass bottle. Well, the latter wasn't involved for long, because one of the guys threw it at the other. Then they proceeded to have a scrap in the exact area I'd have been sitting if my bladder hadn't succumbed to the five drinks already in my belly. It either didn't last very long, or I lost track of time, because by the time I came back, all I found were two stunned friends and a floor covered in shards of glass.

Moral of the story? Get pissed, avoid fists.